BLOODYMAY'S BEDTIME STORIES

I find cough mixture to be very nice~

Cibei. That'll be the most appropriate title for this entry. Its word often used by my OC in camp. Its the word enough to summarise everything stressful and mindfuckful (got such word meh?) that I've been going through lately.

So much to things to do, too little time for rest, as a result, more headaches to come. Its stressful when people's problems that doesn't concern with my life becomes a problem for me having to listen it, what more a lame one. Its boring having to work and entertain someone who has fucked up character. Its very worrying when your best friend goes through problems and suddenly starts talking things that doesn't make any sense at all. Its very heart-breaking when your well-deserved off and leave got burned and taken away coz you need complete some tasks. Its depressing when your feelings for someone you tried to forget a long time ago resurface.

CIBEI!!!

Well lets not talk about those heartbreaking stories. Last Thursday I had my 1st cohesion with HQ company. We had a bowling competition at Safra Tampines in the afternoon after having a damn shiong training in the morning. The training consists of climbing 7 sets of staircase going down 7 sets of staircase, 5 storeys each, followed by 3 km march around the camp, and the another 7 sets of climbing and going down the staircase... All these we did while carrying a total load of about 20kg. That's like 1/3 of my mass. Good thing I didn't fall out from the training and manage to complete it. But cibei, it was damn shiong. Anyways, back to the cohesion thingy, we had fun playing a game of bowling. Initially the ball kept rolling into the longkang, after which I managed to get a hang of it after a few tries.

Our medical officer, senior medic and other commanders including the CO came late halfway through the game. They played their own game. It was interesting to watch the commanders having fun together, a rare sight to be seen as they often have to face the music from the CO. Our medical officer(MO) was the main subject talked among us during the game. He doesn't know how to play bowling, but suprisingly he managed to get 4 strikes!! Talk about hidden potential!! Looking at the way he "threw" the ball, confirm cannot make it. But we were wrong!! 4 strikes in the game and we were shaking our heads in disbelief. Team Medical Centre won the third place, all thanks to the MO's "hidden talent".

Later that night I went to a seminar on Psychology course offered by Path Education with Nas Chitoad and General Wong.The course is interesting, understanding about human mind and behaviour, very useful to understand about the people around me and maybe, myself ultimately. But dunno ah whether to take or not. Can't decide the path to take after NS. Yet another dilemma.

Friday was supposed to be our leave, but the medical centre personnels had to burn it. We had to come back to settle some stuffs and prepare for an upcoming audit. I was damn pissed about it. I was supposed to have lunch with a friend of mine. It was already planned and they just have to take away our leave. Fucking cibei!

Went to IT fair at Suntec City with Hendra on Saturday evening. Basically we were surveying around looking for some good deals. I bought a Canon Powershot A620 digicam as requested by my father. Woohoo!! Finally I got a digicam at last!! The old one Wearnes digicam was a cock product. The thing was free gift for a product or service which my father applied a long time ago. Its now part of the condemned stores.

Book in camp on Monday morning. Had an OC parade and OC dialogue. Got to hear more of his 'cibeis' during the dialogue haha. Always interesting to hear and see him talk. After the dialogue we had a competition with other companies in the battalion. The competition consists of max push ups in 30 secs, max sit ups in 30 secs and slowest timing for 800m run. Slowest timing meaning the time will be taken when the last person in the team completes the 800m. I did 40 push ups and 26 sit ups. Our timing for 800m run was 3min 16 secs. After that, my head just went supersonic. The headache was awful and was feeling very dizzy. Booked out from camp after that to went home but not without having some problems. But nevermind, at least I get to rest in peace today for my off.

Sometimes I feel funny when I go out wearing my NYP jacket, some people give stares at my jacket for watever fuck reasons. I also dun understand. Maybe they relate NYP to Tammy the accidental porn star. I got nothing to do with that caboh. As far as I'm concerned, I graduated a long time ago. Now I got a new webcam, cibei, maybe I can shoot my own sex video and title it May NYP... HAHAHAHAHA!!

Wah sey, months already never update my ancient blog. Bloody rusty and outdated sia. Nevermind, I'll try to recall the events I went through from the end of BMT to where I am now.

Three weeks to POP:
As I mentioned in my previous entry, I fall out from SIT test during the 12km fast march. I did my 12km again with Mohawk Coy during the 16km route march. So I fall out at the 12km point which isn't far from the SISPEC grounds. And so I board up the tonner and made our way back to the coy line and wait for the rest to return.

The next morning we had our live grenade lesson. Supposed to join my platoon for the afternoon session but instead joined the morning detail as I had 16km in the afternoon with Pegasus Coy. Grenade was fun. Before we throw the real grenade, we practiced with the blue practice grenade which produce an explosion sound but does not explode.

Then the real thing came, we went outside the grenade range, quite distance away from the holding area, and were issued the real grenade. There were 4 grenade bay. From the bay we have to throw the grenade to the target spot mark out by a large circle on the ground as its perimeter.I was assigned to the 4th bay. And the bay officer was none other than my own platoon commander 2Lt Al Juffri. Kinda nervous, that guy sure condemn me to core as I always made the mistake of calling him sergeant. But surprisingly he was a little nicer to me. Perhaps he didn't want me to get kancheong, drop the grenade in the bay and get the both of us killed, HAHA!! When third bay threw the grenade, 2Lt Al Juffri pulled me down to take cover. Because of this I had a deep cut above my lips as the groove on the handle of my rifle sliced through above my mouth. The bleeding won't stop and the OC noticed it, he told me to go to the medical centre to get it stitched and inform my platoon sergeant, 2Sg Sam. 2Sg Sam as usual jokingly said "BUTOH!!" at me. I went back to coy line after a short while of waiting at the holding area. Went back to my bunk, got myself a tissue and the wat u call that thing in English "penyepit baju" and apply it on the cut to stop the bleeding. It took hours for the bleeding to stop.

In the afternoon, me and other recruits who haven't gone for 16km route march were attached to Pegasus coy. I am pleasantly surprised by the actions of Pegasus platoon 1 commander, Lta Arif. He gathered his platoon to welcome us!! Wow, I didn't expect to be treated like guests. But seeing the way the interact with his platoon, I could tell he's an exceptional leader of high quality and a respected well by his platoon.

Instead of "tekanning" the recruits to sing out loud, he encouraged to everyone to sing together and keep the song going, if not, he at least wants to hear people talking to one another instead rather than be silent throughout the march. Occasionally, he would check up on the Mohawk recruits to ensure that everything is going well. Our spirits were really high, we pushed on despite having marched 12km the previous day. At the end of the march, the Pegasus commanders bade us farewell.

Next morning I had SOC which I failed coz I had blisters on my foot and couldn't run fast.But fark it ah, all I care was to quickly finish the bloody SOC get my rest and book out. The next book in I had to prepare my field pack, get it inspected by our 2IC, 2Lt David, and get instructions for the SIT test I'll be going through the next day. He was kind enough to show me th proper way to pack the field pack, compressing everything inside and make it appear neat. That guy when he's nice he'll be real nice, but when he's pissed, we won't ever forget what he did to us. He'll give the most jialat punishment that really mindfucked us. But that's wat Mohawk is all about. He's the manifestation of Mohawk coy's harsh trainings.

The next day I was send to Hawk coy for my SIT test. We went to the venue of test via tonner. We were assigned the roles and details for the test. My assigned role was as a medic. Little did I know that I'll eventually become a medic in the future. After lunch we had lessons on our assigned roles. After lessons we slept in the training shack till dinner time. Super slack sia. The commanders didnt even disturbed us at all. 1st time in BMT we got enough rest. Next morning we did a 4km fast march around the reclaimed land area. After the march we test began. The assessor gave us a map and a scenario and he assessed us as we came out with strategies and discussed how to tackle the given task. After that, we went through 6 stations, each having a scenario and we need to use our creativity and the expertise of our roles to overcome the stations. For the 1st day we managed pass 3 out of 6 stations. Not bad. We ended at ard 3pm and again we slept until dinner time. Later that night it rained and everybody went into the training shack for shelter. There, we talk cock with the sergeants and talked about ghost stories in Tekong. Quite fun ah basically. That night also was the 1^st time I saw a shooting star in my entire pathetic life. The next day started our day out with our 5BX exercise. We were shocked that the person conducting 5BX was none other than 3Sg Azlan from my coy. Some of the guys were scared as he has a reputation for being the "garang traffic police", always stopping and scolding those who did not march properly on their way back from lunch. but luckily 3Sg Azlan didn't tekan us. This day however was better than the previous one. We passed all 6 stations. And we worked together as a team, no politics or that kind of shit since we hardly knew each other. Those guys in my detail were great. Had fun working together with them.

After the SIT test, we had Games Day. Mohawk got a cool mascot, but didn't win the mascot competition. My coy managed to win a couple of games. Later in the nite we had a Recruits' Night, formerly known as CO's night. We had fun partying around. Those dancers from SAF Music and Drama Club were chio~ hehe. The next day we had 24km route march, supposed to start around 3pm and end around 2am but instead we started close to 5pm and finished at 12am. That was pretty fast. We had a small celebration at the parade square marking the completion of our 24km march. Thanks alot to Feroz for encouraging me to keep up the pace as I was having headache during the march. After sending arms, we went to sleep around 2am. I had to wake up at 4:30am in the morning for guard duty. Really lacking sleep sia. Somemore its a 24hr guard duty as it was Saturday. I became a prowler, but sux to get myself with a "slow" guy. He really got left far behind during duty as he complained that he was having blisters. Lan cheowlah!! I also got blister but try to walk faster lah sia, finish early can rest. I wonder how many snails did he crushed as he walked down he coastal route during the night prowling.

We booked out the next morning. We got to book in on Monday morning instead of Sunday night all thanks to 2Lt David. Nothing much on that day. Just packing up stuffs, cleaning up the bunks etc coz the next day is POP!!! Tuesday morning we had our last rehearsal. Then in the afternoon was the moment we've been waiting for: the Passing Out Parade. PM Lee Hsien Loong was there as guest of honor.

3Sg Azlan met parents and told them how I tend to look “damn fierce”, especially when marching or standing in a file. And all the while I’ve telling my parents about how fierce 3Sg Azlan is. So who is fiercer one?

Then we settled down at the canteen. We had some snacks over there while waiting for our turn to board the ferry back to mainland. We took some pictures near the ferry terminal area. The queue was damn long. Met Zahid the medic of Steel Damage along the queue, he just came back from Mandai for medical cover for the SISPEC trainees. Once I boarded the ferry, it was the last time I’ll be in Tekong. I definitely miss that place a lot. So much fond and bitter memories in a period of 3 months. Too bad I didn’t get to see the Tekong resident wild boar during my outfield. But never mind. What for wanna see that benda haram, heheh.

Had about 2 weeks of block leave. So I just spent most of my time slacking at home. Then I found out I got posted to Nee Soon Camp for Combat Medic Course where I am trained to be a combat medic. Didn’t know what to expect over there. 1^st few days consist of a couple of tekan session on a basis that we didn’t march properly or move in a file. The punishment was nothing compared to what Mohawk Coy has offer.

I had fun and crazy bunkmates. I made friends from Brunei Army, Airport firemen and Gurkha soldiers. It was interesting to meet non-SAF personnel together in my platoon for the course. We learned lotsa stuffs on treating casualties, the most memorable one had to be the intravenous infusion session. I was initially scared of needle and blood. But after a couple of sessions I’m kinda used to it already.

Apart from that, we bonded really close together especially with my Bruneian counterparts. They are a fun bunch. I went out a couple of time with them and showed them around Singapore. We were like brothers together. The Gurkhas were an eye opener. They are very disciplined people, in fact way much better than most of our Singaporean soldiers. And I dare to say that!! They greet all superiors and always ensure that whatever they do, they keep their discipline in check. Outstanding!! I hardly see them slacking during our break time. Instead they opened up their books and revised on what they have learned unlike most of us. They are also very friendly despite their garang reputation. Its no surprise that one of them won the Best Trainee Award for my platoon during the Passing Out Ceremony.

My fellow comrades: Rahman, Taufik Gemok, Taufik Kurus and Azhari. We really had fun spending time together. They were one of the reasons why I enjoyed my course very much. These people made the Combat Medic Course the best time of my life. And I’m already missing them a lot. My platoon mates mostly consists of ‘pai kas’, people having injuries and excused from normal physical activities. However when it comes to saboh-ing people on their birthday, they are no. 1. They are damn brutal and always get the whole toilet very dirty, which I have to clean up at the end of the day. But luckily I didn’t suffer the same fate on my birthday coz apparently we were still new and hardly knew each other… and coz I got that “garang face” according to them. HAHA.

At the end of the course, I got posted to 3 Guards. I was so sad and depressed. Having to go separate ways with my friends especially the Bruneians. Also I thought 3 Guards was gonna be tough but thankfully I managed to settle down over here at Bedok Camp. I hope I get to earn myself the coveted Guards Khaki beret and Guards tab on my uniform someday and get myself send to medic Spec 2 course and become a sergeant in the future. Initially I felt alien to my new surroundings. But being part of the Guards family I know have role to play. And especially for ATEC, every single one of us will have to play a part in order to achieve the target set by our CO. Well I guess that’s all I have to write for now. Till then.

Left 3 weeks more to POP. Still got to clear 12km, 16km and 24km route march, SIT test, IPPT, grenade, range and SOC. My performance for SOC is fucked up. I got fear of heights and I got trouble going through those stations thats a few metres above the ground. Pathetic me. Sergeant Kiam Ho was kind enough to guide me through along these stations. Really appreciate it alot.

Had guard duty 2 weeks ago, part of the punishment for losing the rifle magazine. The guard duty is probably the most memorable experience I ever had in BMT. The guard comm was none other than Sgt Azlan, which is bad news for some. The rest of the guard personnels had to turn out more that 10 times through out the night, it was damn stressful for them as they lacked sleep. For me I was assigned to the guard room as the Guard Orderly. Basically my job is to maintain the guard room and handle some documents. While others got about at least 2-3 hours of sleep, I got only 1. The guard room was damn cold, I couldn't sleep well. If I knew it earlier I would have slept in the detention room which is like a small jail. It was the same room where the intruders at Tekong from Malaysia were held at during an incident some time back.

Later on throughout the night I had some talk cock session with Sgt Azlan. He let me cook Maggi noodles using his bunsen burner in the detention room. Around 4pm, Sgt Azlan wanted to check out whether the prowlers are doing their job properly. We brought 2 baton and a blanket and headed towards the back of Ulysses building. There Sgt Azlan had me covered up in the blanket equipped with a baton inside and I "deployed" at the bushes by the side of the coastal route.

A few minutes later the 1st group of prowler came. It was Mahader's detail. They spotted me shouted "HALT!!" at the top of his lungs. Mahader's reaction very aggressive and he sounded as if he wanted cry out of fear. LOL. Each step I walk the ordered me stop and they reported to the  guard room via walkie talkie. As I moved out from the bush they could see my boots. Mahader shouted, "STOP IT RIGHT THERE!! I KNOW YOU ARE HUMAN !!! I CAN SEE YOUR BOOTS!!!" I almost wanted to laugh out when he said that. Cannot tahan sia...

Then Sgt Azlan came from behind and I removed my blanket. The moment Mahader saw my face he was cursing and swearing at me. I was laughing like mad. Sgt Azlan praised them for not turning back and for passing this "test".

The next detail weren't that good. They were hesitant to engaged me. One of the guys took 5 steps back as he talked over the walkie talkie while the other guy was left in front alone to engage me. The fear in them was overwhelming I guess. I run towards them and they got super kancheong until I opened up my blanket. Sgt Azlan scolded them for letting their guard down and failing the "test". It was an experience not to forget. Me and Sgt Azlan headed back to the guard room, laughing along the way.

Due to lack of rest I fell sick during the 12km route march to SIT test and had to fall out. I'll be joining Ulysses for SIT test on the  22nd. Hope everything goes well.

Thinking about POP, I wonder where I'll be posted to. I wanna serve the Police but I dunno if I'll make it. If I do maybe I'll sign on from there. My performance sux, 'nuff said. Medic seems fine to me, but if they want to throw me to SISPEC I don't mind, but I doubt my capabilities. OCS is out of question.

Too much thoughts in my mind, I shouldn't stress myself now. Gotta go, booking in later, dun wanna be late. Have a nice day...

So

It has been weeks since I last wrote an entry. My 2nd modem malfunctioned like the 1st one. Basically normal stuffs as usual at camp, more training and tekan. Went field camp last week on Saturday till last Friday. It was the most toughest and the most challenging activity in BMT. But still its fun and memorable in some ways. I went to the campsite called Permatang by tonner instead of marching 8 km to the campsite as I just recovered from high fever. Reaching there, we had to do shit job, setting up the company tentage, the water points and lastly, digging the latrines for the people to shit in. When the rest of the company arrived, me and my buddy, Wee Kian, set up our basha tent. Very small, just enough for me to sit and sleep in there. For the next 3 days at Permatang we had our training there on battle formation, how to engage the enemy, field signals and etc. When we are out of our tent we are supposed to bundle up our bags in the groundsheet, but at one time we didnt tied up properly and the sergeant threw our stuffs around the campsite. I lost 1 of my running shoes in the process, later at night we were told to break our tent and pack our stuffs and form up at the roadside for the sergeants to check our stuffs my other shoe was supposedly found by another sergeant from different platoon. But it wasn't mine when I took it at the drain. He then took out my helmet and my SBO and threw it in the drain. Then I had to do push up and crunches in the drain and my longfore got dirty and wet. KNN NNB CCB!! Then got punished by Leftenant Juffri for not informing the platoon IC where I went to. Haiz...

Our next camp site was at the oil palm plantation. There we finally had our break. We get to bath and rest for one day. The next day is traning again. This time round we were issued blanks for us to fire. It was fun. But something happened which almost drove me to committing suicide. I lost my rifle magazine along the way and my Platoon Commander was threatening me with a charge. Everything came crashing on me. I thought my future is lost. I was thinking of standing in the middle of the gunfire at BIC on the last day of field camp. Thank God it did not happened. Feroz told Leftenant Juffri actually found it and was just scaring me all the while. But it was a serious matter. Had it not been found, it'll be the end of me.

Our last site was at the reclaimed land. We had to dig a shell script which is the size of a human grave at knee deep level and a fire trench which is up the chest level of the tallest guy in my section. My back ached real bad. I could feel the pain and the aching that my father goes through when he is working on his agricultural land in Malaysia. I begin to appreciate every sweat he dropped for me and my family. At night we slept in our respective shellscript with no cover. Its nice to sleep under the stars. Such a beautiful view.

Last day. We had our test on every drills that was taught at field camp. Everything went fine. We finally arrived at SISPEC grounds where we had the last challenge of the field camp, Battlefield Innoculation Course. We had to crawl through for about 100m under machine gun fire with live rounds. It was damn tiring, but at the end of it we made it through and field camp is finally over. I've made it through. Damn, what an experience to go through.... So much more to talk about but time does not permit it seems. Till then, have a nice day you all. Bye.

3rd week of NS. My heart felt heavy having to book in back to Tekong leaving my family behind again. But everything went fine once I'm there. The next day we had our route march in late afternoon. After much drills having to put on and off and removing items from the field pack. We had to repeat the process donkey times thanks to some bloody jerks who got no sense of urgency taking their own sweet time doing the stuffs. In the end the route march was called off as there was no medic around due to some cock up and that dinner time is close by. Quite disappointing after all the shit we had to go through.

Next few days were kinda slack. We had more admin time to do our personal stuffs. Most of our instructors were away on Tuesday as they had to attend some ceremony where there's a new Commanding Officer for BMTC School 2.

Wednesday was supposed to be a packed day but it didn't happen because due to a tragedy at the stadium where a sergeant collapse during a jog. We were in our bunk when we heard the sound of a helicopter. Whenever there's a helicopter sound nearby, we know its not gonna be a good one. The poor guy didn't make it. He was pronounced dead at SGH. The boys in my platoon were a little scared. It can just happen to anybody anytime. The Officer in Command for our company gave a little talk about incident after dinner. It was a damn serious matter.

Thursday was another slack day. We our normal training in the morning. Afternoon after lunch we had a talk by our new CO. Basically stuffs about the army. It's tough trying to endure from falling asleep. Later that night we were supposed to sleep at 2200 as the next day will be SAF day where we have to march at the parade square in the morning. 2nd IC called the whole company to heads out from the bunk for him give instructions. Some nabeh pulled off their heads back to the bunk and becoz of that the whole company had to fall in outside. We were punished quite badly, push ups, crunches and jumping jacks. Some morons dunno how to count and as result they continued doing jumping jacks. And as a result we had to do over and over again until everyone stop together at the same time. And its the same moron who caused us to repeat more than 10 times. My fist felt light wanting to punch some sense into his head, but wah lau, not a good thing to be charged and put into detention barracks. Went straight to bed after the punishment despite being a little sweaty.

Next morning we dressed up in our best. Then as a company we marched to the Parade Square. The ceremony was kinda grand but long. Gotta keep myself awake due to lack of sleep. After the ceremony, we went to the rifle range. We had some demonstrations by my platoon commander. We got to see the capabilities of the M16 rifle. Woooo~ After that we had lunch and went for Friday prayers. Then we had a first aid test. Did ok for it., Following that we had some running exercises. Damn shiong. Later on in the evening we had our rifle presentation ceremony. There I was assigned to my rifle which will be my wife for the next 3 months. I named her Wardah. I shall take good care of her as how a husband should treat his wife, heh.

Saturday. Had strength training exercises in the morning. Then packed our stuffs and did area cleaning. Our Platoon Commander wasn't satisfied with the cleaning. It was a deliberate one, I can tell. We were given little time to pack our stuffs and at the same time having to put on out smart 4 attire. That's life in army, the superiors are just barking dogs. They give instructions which is sometime impossible to be done. Its normal for them to mentally fuck us. But I wonder how much a man can take all the mental pressure heaped over one? I guess its all in the mind.

Till then folks, enjoy your civilian life.

9^th of June 2005 was the day I was enlisted into the army for National Service. Honestly I didn’t know what to expect when I’m in the army having no experience about military matters. Some of my friends told me it’s going to be fun and easy. But what I went through was quite the opposite of what my friends told me.

 

So in the morning, my family and me reported at Pasir Ris interchange where we were brought to the SAF Ferry Terminal. There we boarded the ferry to Tekong. Upon arriving I was separated from my family for a while. I was given my 11B, which replaced my IC for 2 years. Then we were led to the auditorium where the new recruits took their oath and sang the National Anthem in front of our parents.

 

After the ceremony we went to the cookhouse for lunch with our parents. It happened that there was a visit by some Indonesian Generals and surprisingly, they came and talked to my parents, and eventually to me. We even took photos together with them. Its like a grand occasion for me.

 

Then we walked towards the ferry terminal. There, I parted ways with my family for the last time. It was the beginning of the hellish experience in Tekong. I was led to the training shack where my would-be platoon mates gather. We were introduced to 2Sg Samuel and 3Sg Kiam Ho. Sgt. Samuel has this voice that strikes fear in me. Carrying our stuffs we marched to a place where we got our stuffs and equipments. Along the way we were shouted and screamed at by the sergeants telling us to keep in line and move fast.

 

It was a culture shock for me. The amount of vulgarities used was overwhelming, especially by 3Sg Syed. As we were marching to our company, there was a Malay sergeant who said: “Korang kena Sergeant Azlan? Siaplah korang…” which means “You guys got Sergeant Azlan? Be prepared…” At that time I didn’t know who Sgt Azlan was yet.

 

Arriving at our company, we had to climb up to the 5^th floor where our bunk is at, having to carry our heavy bags up. Once up there, we tested out the items given to us. It was around this time where I saw I sergeant who was silently staring at us.  It was none other than 3Sg Md. Azlan Shah. From the way he stared at us, I got the feeling that he got something in store for us for the next few months.

 

Then we went down to the training shack where we had our haircut. Later that night we had to fill in our personal particulars in our assessment books etc. It was a fearful moment for me. Sgt. Samuel was shouting vulgarities at those who made mistake in writing, tearing the books and throwing across the room. I almost wanted to break down and cry. But this is the army where boys grow to be a man so I tried to control my emotions.

 

Following that, we fall in on the red track to have our malaria pills. There, for the 1^st time I encountered 2Lt. Juffri. He issued us the malaria pills. Unlike other sergeants, he was kind and puts on a smile, which lifted my spirit up a little. From there I learnt that he’s our Platoon Commander for Platoon 4.

 

From that day onwards, I tried adapt myself to the army life, but not without facing difficulties. The stress and pressure is always present and high. This is so as Mohawk Coy has been one of the best companies in BMTC 2 and sergeants ensure that we follow and keep up to their high standard so that Mohawk will continue to be one of the best.

 

Trainings are tough. I tried to think positively, believing that at the end of the day, it’ll make me a stronger person. We are often pushed to the limits to the point that we are physically exhausted and all that is left is our mind telling us carry on. But like what Sgt. Azlan said, no matter how hard the day is, it will come to an end. Quite true. At the end of the day, I looked forward to get the much-deserved rest.

 

The toughest part that face during my 2 weeks was being homesick. Being the only child in the family, to be separated from my family for a long period of time is something difficult for me to cope. I hope I’m able to spend more time with my family after BMT. Another problem that I faced was constantly having nightmares about being punished or being screamed at by my sergeants. It was mentally torturing for me on a daily basis.

 

And now, about the people who are in charge of my platoon. 2Sg Samuel is our Platoon Sergeant. He is also in charge of my section. He is very strict and ensures that we keep up a high level of discipline. Although he maybe strict and fierce, sometimes we get to see the lighter side of him. He possesses this ‘sexy’ voice that’s able to create an aura of fear, and sometimes humour.

 

3Sg Kiam Ho is perhaps the only sergeant less feared by my platoon. He goes a little easy on us sometimes. But still, I never dare to take kindness as a sign of weakness.

 

3Sg Syed is most vulgar among all the sergeants. I don’t really know him well but I think he is a very straightforward person who just speaks out his mind, regardless whether its degrading to a person or not. His words might strike a person real hard but I guess we shouldn’t take them seriously except for the important matters that he told us.

 

3Sg Md. Azlan Shah is the most feared of all the sergeants. He is the sergeant that punishes us the most. He set a very high standard as a guideline for us to follow. Failure to comply means there’ll be hell to pay. We dare not cock up in the things we are supposed to do, especially when he’s D.I. for the day. He is also the most unpredictable among the sergeants. At one point his mood will be good, then at another he’ll be completely opposite which sometimes we couldn’t comprehend. But of all the sergeants, he’s also the most motivated among them. He’ll go and extra mile to teach us some stuffs and share with us with his experience. From there I understand that his desire is mainly to develop us to be the best. But sometimes shit tend to happen and resulting him to be in a bad mood. And that does not mean a good thing for us.

 

2Lt. Juffri, our Platoon Commander is the easiest commander to talk to by my platoon. He is not fierce like the sergeants and he is only firm when the situation requires him to be. He gets along very well with the platoon, usually giving motivation to the platoon when they are feeling down after a hard day. PC interviews are the best time for a person talk to when having problems. He’ll try to help out with your problems and keep it strictly confidential.

 

That’s basically all about my superiors. Though they maybe hard on us but I know they are just being professional. At the end of the day, I hope to pass out from BMT with pride, having a memorable BMT experience.

I'm back... It's been a very long time since I update my journal. Many things happened, and I can't remember them all. I can only remember that I've graduated from poly, and that my friend, Hendra, said that our "mission" now is to look for a partner since we've already graduated... yeah right... Most of my time were spent at home, babysitting my 5 year old cousin, or went to swimming or badminton with my friends.

So poly life is over... Leaving for NS next Thursday. Haiz... I'll miss my friends, my family and most importantly my computer...

Thats all for now, I love u all~

Hello adik2, abang2, kakak2, pakcik makcik, datok nenek, kawan2 semua. Dah lama aku tak update ni journal. Seperti biasa, aku dikecewai, kecundang, gagal lagik... Sampai bila nak berjaya pon aku tak tau. Kepala otak aku makin hari makin tertekan, leh naik gila korang tau tak? Hidop dalam dunia masih blom lagi aku dapat rasa kebahagiaan yang aku ingini. Ape leh buat, dah memang rezki aku cam gitu. Moga-moga masa depan aku cerah, InsyaAllah. Tu pon kalo aku usaha dengan gigih lah. Aku malas nak tulis dalam bahasa omputih. Aku stress, aku tertekan, aku depress... Aku takot silap2 aku akhirnya tinggal di hotel Woodbridge. Takpelah, aku cuba ingat tuhan... Ok lah, malas aku nak bebel panjang2. Sampai di sini sahajalah aku akan akhirkan ok? Tatatititutu, gua belah dulu

My only comfort is in death
My only solace, my dying breath
For release, I have prayed
Thrown past life, not afraid

Life's a bitch, life's a whore
Nothing less, nothing more
There is nothing she would do for me
I will end this suffering

Existence of one man
Hatred with no end
My madness, my sadness
I am my own savior

The voices are calling
Out of this life, I'm falling
There is one choice, that I see
In raging flames, The Dark One awaits

Existence of one man
Hatred with no end
My madness, my sadness
I am my own savior

Hello there once again. Haven't jalan raya much yet. Yesterday was the 1st since Hari Raya. Tight schedule ah. Jalan raya is interesting. Although I hardly socialise with my relatives, its interesting to hear the adults talk with each other. Talk about topic ranging from life, family, religion, marriage, anythinglah. It somehow helped to broaden my perspectives towards the usual stuffs that I face daily as well things that I'll have to go through in the future. And also not forgetting the $$$ you earn from visiting your relatives =D

Today went for friday prayers. After prayers, Wandi, Fhami and Ahmad went to Jurong to check out the Creative Warehouse Sale. Would have joined but well, I got guests coming to house later in the afternoon. So I thought of strolling to Tampines Mall.

I was surprised to see Fazilah. Its been a long time since I last saw her. She's rushing to school for her last paper for O Levels. We had a quick talk as we walk. She still charms me just like good ol' times. Honestly I believe she's a real gem. But well, things have changed. We went our separate ways long ago. I wish her all the best in her life. Haiz...

So its Eid 2 days ago, so I'll summarise what I've been up to for the past few days.

On Saturday help out with cleaning the house. In the afternoon, went to my aunt's place at Bukit Batok to give her some honey cornflakes cookies I made specially for her. Glad to see her delighted with my 'gift'. Then went back home for Iftar and continued cleaning up my house. Chores that include mopping the floor and vacuuming the dust.

Finished around 10pm and went out to send a hari raya card to a friend. Kinda late and last minute but well, just do it. Payback is payback =D Took a taxi to her block and went to the letter box at the void deck. To my horror, the letter box is locked and I can't put it in. I was forced to send right at doorstep. It was really nerve wrecking. What if the door isn't close? But luckily the door was closed. So I tried to slot the card underneath the door. Halfway through, suddenly the dog from the neighbour's house started barking like mad. Out of 'kancheong-ness', I dashed to the staircase and ran downstairs. Just like a criminal don't you think? =P Glad that the deed was done, I took a taxi back home, only to be interrogated by my parents about who the hell am I sending a Hari Raya card to late at night. Sheesh. Can't they gimme some privacy? Too bad they couldn't dig much out of me. Phew.

Had a bath and iron my clothes, helped with my parents. Slept quite late ard 2am. Had a strange dream. I saw a certain 'her' with me happy together. Could it be a sign my prayers has been answered? Heh. Wallahua'lam bissawab, siang malam aku tak dapat jawab.

Woke up at 6am, took a bath followed by Subuh prayers. Then left for the Eid prayers with my father. Still early, there's still alot of space in the main prayer hall. As expected, the hall is filled with the sound of Takbir. I tried to keep myself awake whilst waiting for prayers to start. After the prayers and khutbah(sermon), we went back home. Like every hari raya, we asked for forgiveness from each other in our family.

Soon, relatives started flooding to my house. LOTS OF THEM. Some came in one whole bus. This because there's an elderly person in my family which is my grandfather. He's the eldest among all my relatives. Aged at 86 I think, still healthy and active. After Zohor prayers, fatigue set in. I went to sleep all the way until ard 6pm. Dunno how many relatives came to my house when I was asleep. Who cares, I'm not even close with them. Kinda hard to mingle around with people.

The next day, we were supposed to go out but didn't. My father got fever and had to cancel the plans. So we stayed at home. From afternoon onwards relatives start flooding in again. This time round its non-stop right until 6:30pm. Wahlau eh. Penat siol. Gotta wash the glasses and all those stuffs.

Today nothing much. Slacked at home, played Diablo 2 whilst babysitting my cousin. Haven't studied for this Saturday's exams. Should be able to make it but thats no reason I should be over-confident and not study.

Well thats all folks. I wish to my Muslim friends Selamat Hari Raya/Eid Mubarak Maaf Zahir dan Batin. Have a nice day. God bless you all =)

I'm getting irritated with all the whining about losing testimonials on friendster. And all the bunch of idiots will spam on the bulletin board to pass on the message in order to see their testimonials back. ARGHH!!! And the people would actually believed that they have to pass the message ard on the bulletin board in order to see their testis or not to lose their acct. Isn't that stupid? Friendster could simply check who hasn't log in for sometime from their database without the need to ask pple to send stoopid message. Oh I forgot, they dunno wat the hell is database or how web application works. Duh...

Final year project is over. What a big relief. I guess that should lighten up my headaches and restore some peace(piece) of my mind. Heheh. So after the project is over, I did some last minute memorisation for my Madrasah's oral exams. Couldn't really absorb much.

Next day on Saturday morning me and my family went to Darul Arqam to pay our Zakat. Then went to the Geylang bazaar in search for my baju kurung. Damn, didn't get a black baju kurung as I desired. Got blue again just like the past few years consecutively. Anyone wanna trade a black baju kurung with my blue one? =D

Then immediately went to Majid Kassim for Zohor prayers and did some more last minute memorising. From surah Al-Qariah to Al-Balad, I could only memorise 10 out of 12 surahs. The other two, As-Syams and Al-Lail, I heck care already. Afterall the Ustaz won't ask the students to recite all of the surahs they are supposed to memorise.

Alhamdulillah, things went pretty well. The Ustaz allowed me to start with the surah of my choice. I chosed Al-Bayyinah. Then I was tested with surah Adh-Dhuha, Al-'Alaq, Al-Qadr and Al-Qariah I think. It wasn't difficult coz I used to memorise these surah's in the past, but forgotten them over time.

On Sunday, I went to my aunt's place at Bukit Batok. Deliver something to her on behalf of my father. Then went to Lavender to meet Fhami and Wandi. Planned to iftar at Beach Road but instead we changed plans and went to Marina Square to iftar at Cavana. I bought sweet sour chicken rice, my favourite =D The price is just nice too. Check out that place peeps.

After iftar, we headed to a surau at the basement for Maghrib prayers. Then we walked around at Suntec City. Went to Carrefour. The cheese section is really mouth-watering. I wished I can try all of them =D With no where else to go, we went back home.

Nothing much for today. Gotta babysit my irritating little cousin. Had to send her to school and pick her back home. Her mouth just couldn't seem to shut up, especially when she's hungry. Wahaha.

I wonder what the hell is going on about Mr. Yasser Arafat. Some say his condition is serious that he's in coma. Some say he is alright =S What the hell?! I suspect there's a conspiracy going on. Perhaps some of his officials wanna seize power in his absence or maybe the Zionists wanna create more confusion to their advantage over this complicated issue. What ever his condition, may Allah grant him the strength to continue his struggle or lighten the heavy burden over his shoulders.

And yeah, good luck to 'Li and those people taking O Levels yang sewaktu dengan nya =D Give your best shot and may you all do well in your exams =)

That's all for now folks =) Have a nice day and God bless you all =)